Growing up do you remember promising yourself that you'd never sound like your parents when disciplining your own children? Oh, the one-liners were truly ridiculous. My favorite: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!" Really?! You actually threatened to kill me if I didn't obey you, Dad? Nice tactic! (I think he'd agree now that this was pretty silly. Even if it did get me to treat my younger sister with kindness for 15 minutes!)
I made a vow when I became a father that I wouldn't turn into "that" phrase-spouting parent, caught in the hype of a moment, ready to dish out groundless ultimatums. Admittedly, I've had my fair share of those moments. We try so hard as parents to be good to our kids, but quickly learn that our "junk" will eventually make it's way to the surface, and we'll have to face it in the words and actions of our kids. They are a reflection of me.
I'm a worrier, and I hate that part of my "junk". For sure, I can get some good mileage out of it. When I worry I anticipate what's going to happen, and then ultimately I am better able to control the situation, thus getting the result I desire. The comedic irony in that approach is that I cannot worry long enough to anticipate every possible situation. One can easily end up in the mud, spinning his wheels in frustration, with this type of approach to life and it's challenges. I've found out the hard way (eating a lot of mud!) that trusting my heavenly Abba is a far better approach than worrying, but the junk still comes out! And the rub is that my kids see it and respond. In turn, they then begin to worry as well. It's not rocket science. They repeat what is modeled. If I want my kids to be a ball of anxiety when it comes to test-taking in school then I will let them see me hit the panic button over obligations and responsibilities. Do I want my children to value material possessions over self-controlled, thought-out spending? All I need to do is go through my paycheck right after I receive it.
Ultimately, I do believe that God uses this dynamic as a mirror image for parents and eventually children. The good news is that He can receive glory from the growth steps we take as His ever-developing creation. When faced with the sobering reality that we're watched models seven days a week, parents can either fold-up or step-up. I would imagine that most parents are interested in stepping up. One's heartfelt interest is quite different than translating desire into action, though.
My children have taught me, that the growth for both parent and child happens in the striving and in the realization that we cannot go it alone. I know I need others...friends' wise counsel, my wife's gentle encouragement, my childrens' kind forgiveness, and most importantly, my heavenly Abba's Spirit springing forth inside me, compelling me to change!
